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So Your Parents Want To Watch Urealms: Survival Guide

(commencing shitpost)
You've in the past expressed that you won't be able to come out of your room for about 8 hours on a few select Saturdays. One day you explain what a "Urealms Live" is but once they prod for further information suddenly you can't help but remember the "taxes" scene as it loops over and over in your head. You're in danger, especially if your parents are strictly against anything lewd. You need to get out of the danger zone faster than Rob can press a soundboard so do the impossible with the help of this guide.

There are multiple levels of extremes to this depending on how much information they hold and how strict they are. Thus there are multiple openers to deal with this dilemma. 

No Information + Extremely Strict - any interest: Quickly dissuade them by saying that it's a large scale presentation for your education by Professor Robert Moran and his multiple partners with varying doctorate degrees. Provided that they don't care they should be satisfied you're engaging in highly educational activities and move on.

Know it's an RPG + Extremely Strict + Religious - any Interest: Tailor to their faith and explain that it's a show to promote a positive lifestyle with characters interpenetrating Bible tales to increase theological literacy, they should be easily satisfied, just hide your Kinny Boots body pillow from now on.

No Information + Strict + Interest: Uh oh, this is tricky, they want to watch the show to make sure you're not engaging in any illicit behavior, oh dear, now you're reminded of the beads scene in Lyn Azveltara Gaiden, explain to them how much of a time sink it is and quickly choose from a selection of the most tame campaigns as listed:

(1): Guild of Explorers, should be generally fine, short, gets it over with if they want to watch it with you
(2): Gobos of Pat, send them off to watch this and hope they get bored by the extensive run time, although risks include they may click off to watch an alternate campaign.
(3): Porc Hunters, Wholesome story, although do be weary of the decapitations of innocent workers and the constant using of the word "shit" in reference to the shitlords
(4): Fall of Dundinburough, trick them into believing that this is the entirety of urealms, dense with lore and confuse them, however if they are fans of complex plots do not pick this one.
Ultimately you know your parents the best, hopefully, generally stay away from season 3 as the lewd is denser than ever.

No information + Extremely Strict + Religious + Interested: This, you're gonna have to do a bait and switch, Get yourself a copy of Joshua and The Promised Land, have them watch that, if they have you watch it with them put your acting skills to work and watch with intense focus and intent, on the edge of your seat. Cheer at the victories, do whatever you can to sell it.

No Information + Causal + Interested: They're fine with what you do, say it's probably not for them because some scenes may be a bit embarrassing to have them know you've watched them.



Are an Elder God + ̪͝ḭ̮͢n̹̦̺͍͜v͓̻̘͇͈̞o̧k̞͔͎̼̲̦e̛͈̬̫̜ ̡̲t̹̥͕͚̘͟h̖̪̲̥͞e̷̯͙̲̬̘ ̵̥̲hi̯͙̙̝v̟͇e҉-̀m̪̩i̭͉̰̘̼̣͜ń̜͍d̠̬̞͔̰͇͞  + Ǐ̷̢̧̪̟̳̻͇̖̟̮́̿͠͝͠n̴̨̡̻̮̬͖͈͓̻͓̫̠̫̙͓̋̂͒ẗ̷̢̪͙̱̘̮̭͎͙̬́̎̀̾͆̑̀̓̂͆̾͛̔͑͘è̸̡̠̰̫̮̣̝̺̫̬̭̤̮̜̦̙̦͕̦͓͋͋͒͗͊̉́̒͆̿̑͛͊̐̅̀̚̕͜ͅr̶̢̠̥̦̰̪͔͚͕͈̓̌̋̀̿͊ͅe̶̱͉̬͆́́͊͌͊̊͘͝ͅs̵̡̡̨̟̲̜̞̜͇̰͖̩̹̒̃̿̓͑͆͑͛̑̊̊̌̋̈́̆̅̇̋̚ͅţ̴͚̬̘͂͑́́̾͂́̒͛̂̍͐́̽̽͛̇͝é̷̹͍̫̫̜̈́̏̐̐̉͗̔͆͂̃̄̐̇̌̔̏́̓͘͘͝͝ḑ̷̢̛̘͙̙͈̳͎͕͍̼͓͈͔̭̲̱̘̙̽̎͌͛̈́̈́̄̈́̈́͗̒̉͠ ̴̛͓͕̏̀̈́̅̽̈́̐̓́̐́̎̽̔͠͝͠ì̷̲̌̇͐̎̚͘n̷̛͔͓̫̣̥̪̹͔̦̥̳̮̤͇̫̯͚͈̪̔͒͋͊́́̑̄̋̈́̈́͆͐̀̈́̒̕̚͜͠ ̵̡̨̛̛̟̮͈̞̘̬̬̫͎͍̳̻̄̌̏́͗̏̈́̑̌͛̓̄͘̚͠ͅͅm̵̪̘̲̥͎̪͓̪͗̌̾̔͊̓̈͊͂͌͒̈́͑̄͑̔̉̃̋͝ơ̶̢̧̢͉̘͙͚̱̰͇̘̲̣͉͇̤͔̠̄̍͂͆̔̓̀̀̎́̅̌̔͑̇̇̚͝͝͝͝͠r̶̤̼̰̈́̌̊́̉̀̑ͅţ̷̢̨̢̧̼̮̱̲͉͕͖̙̟̫̟̦͔̖͈̭̎͊̅͗̇̎̐̅̓͆̈͊̚̚ͅą̷̧̡̯̠̙̠̱̠͓̠͖̺̠̤̱͘͜͜ļ̶͔̳̺̱̫̣̝͇̥̟͈̠͍̯̲̯́̄̓̔͛́̈́̂͛̍͐̋̋̀̍͠͝͝ ̸̨̗͇̹̜̥̭̦͍̭̲̜̯̻͓̞͚͓̐͆̿́͊̒͑̂͜s̶̡̡̛̼͕̹̪̣̪̗̟̯͇̍̎̏̇͊̐̓̾̀̓͛͌̏̃̚͘̚͠͝ḩ̸̡̘̻͔̘̭͉̙̩͙̥̖̜͉̝̞̱͚͔̓̀̈́̂̈́͛̃́̕͝͠ͅo̶̧̢̬̟̜̪̯͖͉̯̿̽̌͆̾̈̒̋̀͐͒̑̓̿̆̈́̈̐͘͘͠͝͝w̴̨̧͔̥̼̰͍̫̣̽̌̂́͂̍̋̏͝ͅ : They already know, there's nothing you can do, they know, they always have, they knew before you, there's nothing you can do, they're used to being an old god, they'll fit right in.

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