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The Outlaws [Comic] {Cancellation Explanation and Some Additions}

Draw by: Mmadness

Written by: Galeden
Chapter 1: 12/21/18










Comments

  • not bad. not bad at all. good work 
  • Interesting start
    Though there's a few things that I'm a bit confused about right now, like why did he take his axe with him? It kind of looked like he was planning to kill his daughter. And swinging that axe at the faces of some gnomes that accidentally pushed his daughter seems like a bit of an overreaction. 
    But I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
  • @Zeeboon Thanks! This is my first project so I really appreciate feedback, I can see your points and I'll work more to communicate through visuals better, I think some more signs of stress or tension would have been an improvement. I didn't even consider the possibility of how bringing the axe could imply killing his daughter.
  • andddd added to The Writer's Guild
  • A new UReams comic! LETS GOOO
  • Light update, We've done an art style switch because the original style just was not viable for the amount of time it was taking to produce. I don't want to set an exact date for the part's release for a multitude of reasons but the one after it should not take three months  :)
  • Ilove this so far. Also the eyes on his daughter are so huge :smileneena: 

  • edited March 2018
    Part 2: added 3/25/18

    Art By: MMadness

    Written By: Galeden

     



































  • edited March 2018
    Wow, that's quite an update! Very good progression so far, the much bigger frames also make it much more easily readable. The new style also makes it more striking and recognisable. 
    All in all a big improvement. :smile: 
  • Almost a year ago this project was cancelled, I don't exactly remember when but it just wasn't manageable consistently for MMadness and me. I feel I have to apologize, not only for stopping this but also for my falling out of posting anything for Urealms. I know I really don't have to but it nags at me. I'm sorry, I got some of you invested in something and then failed to deliver. To focus on this just being a learning experience for me would be selfish as you all are the other side to this medium. That and this comic wasn't made for my own sake. I've let you all down once, I'll make sure this doesn't happen again. Think before I leap which, boy did I lack that in 2018. I'm currently doing videos, give my most recent one a shot.

    I'm enjoying making these and in each I make an attempt to improve my editing skills (however I prematurely deleted all my footage so I'm in a little drought right now). But none the less it's enjoyable and what I do for the time being. In the future, who knows, I like to do a little bit of everything. But, I promise you some day you'll get a full comic series from me.

    Though I should also mention: A few months after this was cancelled I figured giving an animated short would be more manageable, less commitment as it's a one off, but that fell through due to misunderstanding how much each of us would do so I'll give you the script and concept art that was made.

    (Works with whichever you look at first, order is arbitrary)
    ||A World Well Remembered|| Season 3 Episode 10 Part 8
    Script: (first line is original text, second line is phonetic pronunciation, third is google translated result in English that would appear as subtitles)

    *Dust covers the area, the silhouette of Dead Bones is visible but the dust clears to reveal him in an over the top version of his normal suit with top hat, an 8 foot tall version of Rob stands 15 feet across from him, the ground is covered in suit and ash*


    DB: *Grunting anime noise*


    *Rob crosses his arms*


    Rob: You’re looking rather weak, I still have over ninety stamina, Baka

    Anata wa kanari yowaku miete iru, watashi wa mada 90 ijō no sutamina o motte iru, baka

    /You look pretty weak, I still have more than 90 stamina, Baka *someone who is stupid*/


    *cut to supporting cast lineup, in order: Coe, Roamin, Justin, Spiff, Milbee*


    Coe: *adjusts glasses* I knew he couldn’t do it, atleast Robumokotsukamatatokomotsuyamatashiko will be weakened for me to beat

    Kare wa sore ga dekinai koto o shitteita, sukunakutomo robumokotsukamatatokomotsuyamama ga watashi ni totte jakutai-ka surudarou

    /He was doing what he could not do, at least Robumokotsukamatatokomotsuyamama will weaken for me/


    Roamin: *turns to coe* Shut up! He’s your nakama, *turning to fight* Keep in the fight Dead Bones Kun! Use your Iyarashī!

    Damare! Kare wa anata no nakama,-kun to tatakau no o tsudzukeru shinda-kotsudesu! Anata no iyarashi o tsukatte kudasai!

    /Shut up! He is your companion, a dead bone that continues to fight! Please use your Bullshit!/


    Coe: *puts on second pair of glasses and adjusts them, doubling the light given off* Hng, a single hit to him and he’s sure to perish, you can count on it. Dead Bones could never be game master.

    Hng, kare ni ichido no hitto to kare wa tashika ni shini, anata wa sore ni kaunto suru koto ga dekimasu.Deddobōnzu wa kesshite gēmumasutāde wa arimasen.

    /Hmph, once he hits him he died surely, you can count on it. Dead Bones never be game master./


    *Cut back to the fight where they continue to stand still, one of deadbone’s legs is far out from his center of gravity while one hand is to his temple*


    DB: *concentrating, face constricts slightly despite him being a skeleton*

    Nisovin sensei, how can I possibly beat him, one hit and I’m sure to die.

    Nisobin sensei, dono yō ni watashi wa osoraku kare o taosu koto ga dekiru, 1tsu no hitto to watashi wa shinu koto o kakushin shite imasu.

    /Mr. Nisovin Sensei, how can I beat him probably, one hit and I am sure I will die./


    *Cut to some dalaran from world of warcraft looking small planet, nisovin (King Kai Guy) sits in front of a crystal ball inside of a small room within a temple, his hands are placed in a triangle in front of his beard while his elbows rest on a table, he’s concentrated and sweating*


    DB: Nisovin Sensei?

    Nisobin sensei?

    /Mr. Nisovin Sensei?/


    *Nisovin Snaps, he begins to do over the top arm movements, flinging them outward and back, swiping in front of him in a full outstretched manner including an over the top version of a jojo style rendition of his face*


    N: You need to get out of there Dead Bones! The plan to attack one at a time won’t work anymore, don’t get yourself killed dead bones!

    Anata wa shinda hone kara denakereba narimasen! Ichido ni 1tsu zutsu kōgeki suru keikaku wa, mohaya dōsa shimasen, shinda hone o korosanaide kudasai!

    /You have to leave the dead bone! The plan to attack one at a time will no longer work, please do not kill the dead bones!/


    *Cut back to Dead Bones*


    DB: *Shocked* W- Wh- What about the heart of the bullshit? *takes a more aggressive stance as he ignores rob entirely* are we just going to abandon the bullshit?

    N- Na- Nantekotta i? Watashitachiha tada no tsubuyaki o hōki suru Iyarashī ka?

    /What the hell? Are we going to give up on the bullshit in just a tweet?/


    N: No, but a true master knows when to back out.

    Īe, shin no masutā wa itsu taishoku suru ka o shitte imasu.

    /No, the true master knows when to retire./


    DB: *stands up straight, apathetic* I’m sorry.

    Gomen'nasai.

    /I’m sorry/

    *Dead Bones pinches his fingers near his head, particles the same color as nisovin’s orb flow out of his head and into a small orb the same color as the former,*


    DB: *inhale*


    *Cut to shocked Jusin*

    Justin: He’s throwing away the duplication orb? *translucent Japanese urealms crosses the screen as he speaks*

    But that’s what allows him to talk to Nisovin Sensei! He used it to duplicate Nisovin Sensie’s Communication orb, he duplicated the magical treasure. Does this mean he can’t talk to Nisovin Sensei?

    Kare wa jūfuku ōbu o nagesutete imasu ka? Shikashi, sore wa kare ga Nisobin Sensei to hanasu koto ga dekiru nodesu! Kare wa sore o tsukatte Nisobin Sensie no tsūshin-ken o fukusei shi, mahō no takaramono o fukusei shimashita. Kore wa, kare ga nisobin sensei to hanasu koto ga dekinai to iu kotodesu ka?

    /Is he throwing out overlapping orbs? But that's why he can talk to Mr. Nisovin Sensei! He used it to reproduce Mr. Nisovin Sensei’s coverage and replicate magical treasures. Is this that he can not talk to Mr. Nisovin Sensei?/


    Coe: *adjusts glasses* Baka*editor’s note*, now I know he has a death wish.

    Baka, ima watashi wa kare ni shi no kibō ga aru koto o shitte iru.

    /Baka, now I know that there is hope of death in him./


    Spiff: *walks behind coe and kicks him in the back of the ankle causing him to stagger and panic lightly, he quickly regains composure and adjusts his glasses while spiff talks*

    Don’t be stupid, I saw the burning desire to win within him, had he not possessed that flaming burn ball inside his ribcage I would not be rolling with you bunch.

    Orokade wanai, watashi wa kare no naka de katsu tame ni moeru yokubō o mita, kare wa kare no kyōkaku no naka ni honō no moeru bōru o motte inakatta watashi wa anata to tabanete inaidarou.

    /I was not stupid, I saw a burning desire to win in him, he did not have a burning ball of flame in his rib cage I would not bundle with you./


    *Cut to Deadbones, full of rage*


    Rob: *flicks his hand through his hair, causing the jojo menacing letters to fly out of his head like they were stuck in it* What are you going to do? You’re on the brink of death, you better not make a misstep!

    Nani o suru? Anata wa shi no kiki ni hin shite iru, anata wa machigai o shinaide kudasai!

    What to do? You are on the verge of death, you should not make a mistake!


    DB: *anime heh and takes 5 steps forward while talking* I do not make mistakes. I have bullshit! *Pose*

    Watashi wa machigai o shinai. Watashi wa Iyarashī!

    /I am not mistaken. I bullshit!/


    *brief cut to Roamin and Milbee who cheer, Coe scoffs and adjusts his glasses, Justin watches intenfully and focused, Spiff smirks*


    *Cut to rob*


    Rob: Bullshit huh? *intense close up on face, thing vector face* Nothing cheats the dice mother fucker.

    Iyarashī? Nani mo sagi o shinaide kudasai!

    /See you. Please do not scam anything!/


    DB:*lowers hat rim over eyes* I don’t plan to cheat.

    Watashi wa fusei kōi o suru tsumori wa arimasen.

    /I am not going to cheat./


    Rob: Good, no tricks I---

    Yoi, īe torikku, Wata---

    /Good, no tricks, I---/


    DB: *Explosive personality anime protag mode, camera shifting between close up and wide shot as he swipes his hand and pulls his hat off* I’ll win with the dice on my side

    Watashi wa watashi no soba de saikoro de katsu yo!

    /I will win with a dice by my side!/


    *Cut to the group, Roamin is on the edge of their seat but there’s no seat, Coe scoffs and flicks his hair while causing his glasses to glare, Justin is shocked and taken aback a little, Spiff grins a wide toothy grin, Milbee does a semi joyful “wat” expression of pure confusion, slightly slumped and just staring motionless*


    Justin: *Regal Top Hat card passes through the screen as justin stands surprised and says* Dead bones is going to use his regal top hat in such a crucial moment? But that means he could be casting any spell. He has no anytime actions left to use. Is he really going all in on this gambit? ... Huh? *eyes become focused* Wait no, he’s trusting the Iyarashī.

    Shinda hone wa, sono yōna jūyōna shunkan ni kare no rīgarutoppuhatto o shiyō suru tsumoridesu ka? Shikashi, sore wa kare ga don'na jumon o motsu keru koto ga dekiru koto o imi shimasu. Kare wa itsu demo tsukaeru yōna kōdō o totte inai. Kare wa hontōni kono gan bitto ni subete haitte imasu ka? Dō?  Īe, kare wa Iyarashī o shinrai shite imasu.

    /Are dead bones going to use his legal top hat at such an important moment? But that means that he can have any spells. He has not taken actions that can be used anytime. Is he really all in this gambit? How? No, he trusts Bullshit./





    DB: *Deadbones flicks his hat in his hand before returning it to be open upwards, sparks of red and purple flick off of it’s rim* I’ve had this hat since I first took up the Iyarashī

    Watashi ga saisho ni iyarashi o tottanode, watashi wa kono bōshi o motte ita

    /I had this hat as I first took the Bullshit/

    *fade into a tan parchment and ink style flashback, multiple miscellaneous filler ink images of Nisovin taking care of a baby deadbones who continuously goes for the gian hat as dead bones does a voice over narration*



    DB: *voice over* Nisovin Sensei took me in at a young age, I became gravitated to the hat. I wouldn't stop messing around until Nisovin Sensei decided that it was a sign for me to become a master of the Iyarashī

    Nisobin Sensei wa wakai toki ni watashi o tsureteitte, watashi wa bōshi ni hikkakarimashita. Nisobin Sensei ga watashi ga Iyarashī no masutā ni naru tame no saindeatta to handan suru made,

    /Mr Nisovin Sensei took me in when I was young and I caught on a hat. Until Mr Nisovin Sensei judged that I was a sign for becoming a master of Bullshit/


    DB: *continued* I was trained as a child to master every technique Nisovin Sensei could teach me. I’ve come a long way, especially with the aid of my friends, each and every one of them has made me stronger along the way, I will become the Game Master!

    Nisobin Sensei ga watashi ni oshieru subete no tekunikku o shūtoku suru tame ni, watashi wa kodomo to shite kunren sa remashita. Watashi wa nagai michinori o ayunde kimashita. Tokuni yūjin no tasuke o karite, sorezore no hito ga watashi o tsuyoku shite kuremashita. Watashi wa gēmumasutā ni narimasu!

    /I was trained as a child to master all the techniques Mr Nisovin Sensei teaches to me. I have come a long way. Especially with the help of friend, each person made me strong. I will be a gamemaster!/


    *end flashback*


    Rob: *grin*Your ambition is well placed, *scowl* but it’s not your Iyarashī alone that will let you be a Game Master, Baka. You must possess control, a Game Master’s word is final, so do what you will, I have control here.

    Anata no yabō wa umaku ikimasuga, anata ga gēmumasutā ni naru koto wa anata dake no Iyarashīde wa arimasen, Baka. Anata wa kontorōru o motte inakereba narimasen, gēmumasutā no kotoba wa saishū-tekina mononanode. Anata ga suru koto o shite kudasai, watashi wa koko de kontorōru shimasu.

    /Your ambition will work, but it is not your only Bullshit to become a gamemaster, Baka. You must have control, the word of the game master is final. So do what you do, I will control here./


    DB: Let’s see which way the Iyarashī turns.

    Iyarashi ga dono hōkō ni muku no ka o mite mimashou.

    /Let's see what direction Bullshit faces./


    *Deadbones hovers his hand over the opening o the hat as he lets out an anime shout, a large ball of fire begins to build up within the hat, deadbones seems to be full of power, around deadbones a pillar of fire begins to rise as the pyroblast builds up in the hat,*


    *Cut to rob who looks a bit taken aback and frightened*


    *Cut to group, justin first, who is frozen in shock*


    Justin: *pyroblast card crosses screen* Wow

    Wao

    /Wow/


    Coe: *disbelief and awe* D- Deadbones…

    D- Deddobōnzu...

    /Deadbones/


    Rooamin: *Awe Reaction but more anime girl like*


    Spiff: *grinning and excited for carnage*


    Milbee: *shocked, suddenly focused in a semi panic, Suddenly he summons his humanoid pig punch ghost and begins dashing down to the fight*

    Deadbones!!!

    Deddobōnzu!!!

    /Deadbones!!!/


    *still charging the pyroblast, deadbones tilts his head to look at Millbee, Rob stays still and looks at milbee with rage*

    *seeing Rob’s reaction deadbones fires his attack*


    DB: Pyroblast!!!!!!! *a beam of fire emanates from his hat as deadbones fires in pure rage, the fire engulfs Rob, removing him from view*

    Pairoburasuto!!!!!!!

    /Pyroblast!/


    *as this happens milbee stands in a mix of shock, defeat, and helplessness*


    *the attack rages on until it gives away and smo ke covers where rob stood*


    Milbee: He still had an anytime action!

    Kare wa mada itsu demo kōdō o oko shimashita!

    /He has still taken action at any time!/


    *a blue orb surrounding rob begins to appear through the smoke*


    DB: *chokes up a bit* M-mana shield

    M-Manashīrudo

    /Mana Shield/


    *Rob swipes his arm, shattering the mana shield and dispersing the smoke around him*


    Rob: Enemy Turn

    Teki no tān

    /Enemy Turn/


    *As the logo assembles itself from the symbols crashing onto the screen together, one at a time Ending credits over a stationary screen relating to deadbones in some melodramatic way. The credits start in japanese but once they become stationary they burn away one at a time to reveal the
    English version over the course of a minute or two*


    Concept Art: By MMadness (She does commissions now, MMadness#9440 on discord)



    Whether I see you all again or not, I truly wish you all the best.
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