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The Tale of the Legendary Road Trip

About: This is the tale of my fan-campaign I ran on July 3, 2017 with 3 new players and 1 having played one game prior. This story takes place after multiple hours of character creation and explaining the game 3 separate times, I was very tired.

Board 1: The campaign starts with the players waking up outside of their frat house...... while it was on fire. After some questioning the came to a conclusion that Pinto the Flamedansuer multiclass Wizard and his loyal companion Bluto, the Cabalist Porc were the culprits. This left lil' the young kobald bard, Clair the Clairvoyant Dvergr Shaman, and the legendary bard Nirli and her companions Patricia the Dwarven spellslinger and Valerie the Kobald Bandito, who did most of the work. The party then had to decided which path to choose to reach Nirli's uncle and his home in a small elf village nearby.
Option 1: A deadly Clockadile Lagoon
Option 2: A sunsword blockade to protect migrating animals
Option 3: Pinto rolls a 20 and Burns a path through the forest and skips the sunswords entirely
They chose option 3. 
This led them to Groundbold herd traveling across the mountains, but this was no problem to lil' who not only created illusions of himself, but managed to roll a 20 and tame 2 groundbolds, one was for real lil', the other was for his 2 illusions. Crossing the herd safely they encountered a cave leading them up the mountain. Opening the door to an old dark passage they slowly crept through........
Nah who the hell am I kidding Valerie threw a molotov cocktail and hit a ageless spider leading to three people Mega magma stomping the hell out of it. Only to have Valerie call in her mob to finish it off. Leading the party onto......


Board 2:
The party emerges from the cave only to see a camp setup next to a looming bridge with shady figures stooping low inside tents. The approach and it turns out they are bandits who are running away with loot, but Valerie tells them she is bandit and they all share stories. Narli tells of her battles through the undead citadel of Alchatrapezoid and Pinto tells of how before he went into the cave passage with the spider he saw the titanic Monkey Fish Patriarch echo his will upon the sunswords as they allowed him to migrate in peace due to fear of the colossus. Meanwhile, Clair has a vision(the player had to leave the game at this point) and falls into a bush leaving the party, and lil' sneaks into the tents and steals the gold himself. Slowly an old gnomish women approaches and tells her story of how her grandson is Ishnu fifth warlock of the cult of bones and how she married the Spider King, Pinto then flame lances her, not because she was evil, but because he didn't like her voice. Then an ambush of ageless thralls and a spider emerge from the cave and her faceless melts away revealing an ageless woman, but Valerie called her entire cartel using all her any-times and threw a cocktail on the spider essentially gunning down any threat in a single turn. lil' also helped, smiting the woman with his Holy magic. The party then continued on to the bridge. lil' used stealth to get around the odd statues positioned on the bridge and made it to the other side with invisibility(his player then left the game) and then all the way to the town. The other players were occupied trying to torture a wizard simply known as, The Riddle master, when they broke and thus, awakened, several golems. Despite the two remaining party members and 3 companions both having AMAZING burst poor rolls led to the downfall of one of their beloved. First Patricia attempts to sprint across the bridge only for the golems to cover her in dangerous terrain of cement like mud. Bluto the porc rushes to her and manages to pull her out and make it across the terrain to the other side of the bridge. This left Valerie, Pinto, and Nirli on the other side of the bridge. Nirli quickly does 300 damage to one of the remaining statues only to have more golems to emerge from it while Pinto accidentally rolls a 1 stomping out the bridge from under himself falling into the river and washing up at the town down shore nearly failing a death roll. Valerie called in her cartel again and did more damage than anyone else to the golems before one tackled her covering her in his entire body suffocating her. It was at this point I was, so proud of my new players I gave my new players two options
1. Probably lose the combat
2. Bring Clair back to use wormwhole in the middle of the river and kill both golems, but everyone in range must make a death roll.
Death roll time. Cartel minions dead. Golems dead. Monkey fish and glam sharks in the river swimming after Pinto dead. 
Valerie sticks out of the dangerous terrain trying to hold onto the ground as her golem gets sucked into the wormhole.
Valerie rolls a 1 on a dangerous terrain/hold on death roll and the true legend is torn mid-chest in two. The party makes it all the way to town safely and the party holds a funeral for the true legend. Nirli gives up her legend status and retires depressed for the rest of her days. Pinto and Bluto pop their collars and walk off into the distance lil' is adopted and Clair stays in the elven village.
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