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"If i said it once, i said it a thousand times. Rome wasnt built in a day. To each his own. Know your adversary. Ignorance is bliss. A penny saved is a penny earned. Mark my words. Judge not, hath thee be judged. Mark my words. Dont believe everything you hear. Always follow the golden rule. Theres a fox in the hen house. You climb a mountain one step at a time. Tommorow is a new day. Lets take a look at todays weather. Todays forcast is dismal. Theres a good chance of rain. Theres a good chance of snow. Theres a slight chance of rain. Theres a slight chance of snow. And thats a look at todays weather"

Comments

  • What the heck did you just say about me, you little honey bun? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Cutie Patooties, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret tweets on Daddy Trump, and I have over 300 confirmed snookims. I am trained in butter biscuits and I’m the top sweetie in the entire US sugar doodles. You are nothing to me but just another Daddy. I will cuddle you the heck out with warmth the likes of which has never been felt before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that dookie doo to me over the Internet? Think again, cutie. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Mommies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the huggie wuggies, deary. The huggies that wipes out the silly little thing you call your meanie doodles. You’re in trouble, Daddy. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can tweet you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in butter boops, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Cutie Wooties Fruity Tooties and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your widdle face, you little cutie pie. If only you could have known what huggie wuggies your little “tweetie weetie” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your mouthy wouthy. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, honey buns. I will wiggle woop all over you and you will drown in it. You’re really sweet, honey.
  • Hi! Billy Mays here for OxiClean, the stain specialist, powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water that you and I drink. It’s Mother Nature-approved and it’s safe on your colored fabrics. Use it on carpets. OxiClean seeks out organic stains, pet stains, food stains. it gets down into the matting, into the padding. It even takes red wine and grape juice out of white carpeting. It cleans, it brightens, it eliminates odors all at the same time. Don’t just get it clean, get it OxiClean. Make a paste. Make it 10 times as powerful! The longer you let it set, the easier it is. It will whiten your grout and get rid of your toughest stains. Sometimes soaking is the solution. If you use bleach, you’ll ruin your clothes! OxiClean won’t hurt the material -- even lace! It has the power of bleach without the damaging side effects of chlorine. When your laundry detergent just isn’t enough, supercharge it with OxiClean. One scoop in every load of laundry, it will make your whites whiter. It will make your brights brighter. As a stain remover, it’s the best! Grass stains, clay stains. Long live your laundry! OxiClean, the stain specialist. We sold millions of our two-and-half-pound tubs for $40. But if you call now, we’ll cut the price in half, only $19.95. You’ll also receive the Squirt Bottle and the Super Shammy absolutely free. If you call during this show, you’ll receive a bottle of our world-famous Orange Clean made with pure orange oil. It cuts through the grease and the grime whether it’s baked on in the oven or caked on the stove. You get all this for just $19.95. But call in the next 20 minutes, and we’ll supersize your OxiClean from a two-and-a-half pound tub to a whopping six-p

  • Copypasta
  • @Sgtslow This for whatever reason made my day. 
  • Gimme gimme chicken tendies, Be they crispy or from Wendys. Spend my hard-earned good-boy points, on Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints. Mummy lifts me to the car, To find me tendies near and far. Enjoy my tasty tendie treats, in comfy big boy booster seats. McDonald's, Hardee's, Popeye's, Cane's, But of my tendies none remains. She tries to make me take a nappy, But sleeping doesn't make me happy. Tendies are the only food, That puts me in the napping mood. I'll scream and shout and make a fuss, I'll scratch, I'll bite, I'll even cuss! Tendies are my heart's desire, Fueled by raging, hungry fire. Mummy sobs and wails and cries, But tears aren't tendies, nugs or fries. My good-boy points were fairly earned, To buy the tendies that I've yearned. But there's no tendies on my plate! Did mummy think that I'd just ate? "TENDIES TENDIES GET THEM NOW, YOU FAT, UNGRATEFUL, SLUGGISH SOW!" I screech while hurling into her eyes, My foul-smell bowel-dwelling diaper surprise. For she who is un-pooped on is she who remembers: Never forget my chicken tenders.
  • ATTENTTION SPEED MAN. Hey speed man, im watching you with my wife and kids. Could you please go a little slower? we're trying to figure out what zeldas superpower is. no mortal could go through the ground and stuff. also my wife baked some meat loaf for dinner, want to come over? thank you speed man and god bless
  • edited June 2017

    Hello everyone! I'm Andis, and welcome to today's cooking show! On this episode, we will be making a classic, yet somewhat modern Soap Cake! Now I know what you're thinking, who in their right mind wants a soap cake!? But we're not in our right mind so that's A-OK! But enough about that, let's get started! For ingredients, you will need cake mix, eggs, butter, milk, the most fucked up route in existence, and some fine quality soap. Begin by mixing all of the ingredients in a bowl, and add extra soap for extra taste! Now that you are all mixed, put that bad boy in the oven for 30 seconds, and think about the scrumptious cake that will soon caress your taste buds. Once baked, take that moist cake out of the oven and slather it in some icing, strawberries, and extra soap for good measure. Once done, give it to your favorite friend and be prepared to experience true rejection. Well, that's it for today's episode, until next time, stay squeaky!

    Soap cake is delicious. YOU CANNOT DENY THE SOAP CAKE

    NEVER CAN DENY IT



  • Hey what's up guys it's scarce here and we have a double upload for today because we have some fucking HUGE stories to talk about. Now our first topic comes from Faze Rain where he tweets: "Just found out a deep dark secret from my girlfriend" and everyone gets worried and then he tweets: "She puts milk before she puts in cereal." like this is fucking crazy i did not expect his girlfriend to do this shit but imma try to stay neutral although im more biased towards rain in this situation. Next topic we have for today is from leafyishere now apparently one of his haters made a video accusing leafyishere of sexually harassing him, like if this is true this is gonna be fucking HUGE. But later leafy tweeted out saying: "i didnt do that" so he didnt do it. and that's it for the video today i hope you enjoyed and if you did please leave a thumbs up and i'll see you later peace.
  • sweetie, you are literally so out of line it’s fucking unbelievable. i could drag you so hard right now but i know you’ll just end up crying. i’ve roasted you before and you know it. chances are you’ll just say i bullied you because you’re gay and have different skin. talk shit get hit, you don’t wanna mess with me kiddo; i’ve got a black belt. i know threats are fucked up but that’s all i’ve been receiving all day, probably from her royal hoodrat olive and all of her nasty friends. but you can gang up on me and make fun of me for being goth all you want. i’ve been hurt a lot. my first boyfriend cheated on me, my dad screams if i forget to do my chores, and there are some days i don’t even want to get out of bed in the mornings. i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. you think your life is hard? try asking the cutest guy in your grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he has a fucking girlfriend. you don’t know my life or my story so keep my name out of your nasty mouth. life is a battlefield and it looks like i’ve already won.
  • edited June 2017
    Edit: Forums doesn't accept Emojis, have to use pastebin for this: https://pastebin.com/9nd57EkQ
  • What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

    Famous one, can't believe no one posted t his one yet.
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